YOUR Will, Not Mine

"Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of hosts." ISAIAH 6:5

"Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:

'Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?' Then I said, 

'HERE I AM! SEND ME.'" ISAIAH 6:8

Those verses are both so powerful. I started ISAIAH(this is just a word I think looks better in all caps) a couple days ago and am amazed by the prophecies. I can't help but imagine what it would have been like hearing that a deliverer is coming!

"Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son and shall call His name Immanuel.

Curds and honey He shall eat, that He may know to refuse the evil and choose the good."

ISAIAH 7:14-15

And to imagine who they pictured Jesus to be, this mighty KING swooping in the save the people and destroy the government.

"For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; 

And the government will be upon His shoulder and His name will be called

Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end, 

upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,

To order it and establish it with judgment and justice 

From that time forward, even forever."

ISAIAH 9:6-7

When I read these verses I can see why the world was so surprised and in unbelief when Jesus, son of Joseph & Mary claimed to be the Messiah they were waiting for. But how amazing, that the Son of God, willingly came to earth as nothing, a man, and in those days a "lowly" man. A man of no standing, no authority, a carpenter. I am so thankful that He came so humbly and lovingly to accept each and every sinner. And when the time came for Him to die a painful, humiliating death, all His heart desired was this:

"Father; if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; 

nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."

Luke 22:42

These verses made me realize that when we are going through something difficult, or painful, when things are just hard, we quickly run to the Lord asking Him to deliver us. We ask Him to take our cup away. I know so many times with this pregnancy I've prayed, "Please help me feel better!" But today as I was meditating on the ISAIAH verses, the Lord really put on my heart how vital it is that we also pray, "But NOT my will, but YOURS, be done." He is a God of healing, so powerful, and wants me to pray to Him and trust that He can make me better, but He wants my Faith. He wants me to desire His Will for my life even if that means I have to sit in a hard place for a while. This can be difficult to do, even today I was tested to believe that His Will does prevail above any worldly hardship.

"For all this His anger is not turned away,

But His hand is stretched out still."

ISAIAH 10:4

I hope today we all find an instance to trust His Will above our own!
God Bless, T

Be Joyful

 I created this blog years ago, under different names, and with different ideas/goals behind each one. I love a lot of different things, but none of the topics seemed worthy enough to be the reason I blog. Fashion, Food, Furniture Finds, Pinterest attempts, etc. are all fun topics and ones I may still write about now and again, but the only thing I know to be true, steadfast and never-changing is the Lord's great love for me and the grace He has poured upon me.

I now feel I have something worth sharing, worth raving about. It is funny how the Lord works..... When "I" was feeling creative, and had all these great ideas, goals, & passions, I would race to this blog (thinking that was the right time to write my first post) and stare at a blank page for SO LONG. But tonight, I do not feel creative, I have no energy, I have no hopes and dreams for this blog, but feel the Lord dragging me to type. So, I must share what He has done, and what He is doing in my heart, and my life.

For the past 9 weeks, I have been pretty sick carrying Baby Brown #2. When I just typed 9 weeks it seems like such a small amount of time, but the past couple months have seemed like eternity. Part of me hesitates sharing my story because I know that even being pregnant is a HUGE blessing. There are so many people that have such deeper struggles, deal with daily pain(for years), have lost children, cannot have children, and many more hard things. I just want to share what the Lord is teaching me, and I know He uses different things in all of our lives to draw us closer to Him.

I am excited to share of the Lord's mercy, and wherever you each are in life, I hope the Words of our Lord will bring you comfort and peace. For the past couple of months my day to day goal was just to get through it, however I could. I have some good days, but lots of bad days. I was sick with my first pregnancy, and it was hard, but it was just Todd & I, now we have Ford and he needs a lot from me. I started realizing I was becoming angry. I kept wondering why I needed to be sick, what the point was, why I can't just have this wonderful, easy breezy, glowing pregnancy. And when I started feeling sorry for myself, I started just opening my Bible. I kept thinking, "when you are weak, then I am strong, my strength is made perfect in your weakness."

I really started praying and asking the Lord that He would speak to me in my time of weakness, that I wouldn't get to the other side without learning anything. And as my time with the Lord increased, I could feel His love & joy taking over my anger. I was finishing Proverbs and became burdened by the "Proverbs 31 Wife". I haven't been able to get up and take care of my family the way I would desire to, the way I know the Lord would want me too. But, as I read through Ecclesiastes He started really opening my eyes.

"Do not be rash with your mouth,

And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.

For God is in heaven, and you on earth;

Therefore let your words be few."

Ecc 5:2

My prayer after  reading this verse was to not let myself ramble on to the Lord, to let my words be few and just spend time in God's Word. The Lord knows how hard my days are, He knows my desire to be a good wife & mom. The next verses below truly opened my heart to realize what my mind & heart should be focused on each day:

"Consider the work of God:

For who can make straight what He has made crooked?

In the day of prosperity be joyful, 

But in the day of adversity consider:

Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other, 

So that man can find out nothing that will come after him."

Ecc 7:13-14

Wow. I am supposed to be as joyful in my days of adversity as I am on days where I prosper?? God has created my good days along with my bad, just because my day is hard does not mean He is not the Creator of that day. 

I know I still have so many days ahead of me that will take all I have to want to run and find comfort in His arms Sometimes it seems(although its not) easier to dwell in our pity, in our hurt, in our pain. But He is Lord of all, and if I need to be in such a humble place while pregnant so that I can run and grow closer to Him, than I will count that JOY. I will not always want to, but I know when I give my day to Him, and SPEND TIME with Him, He will take care of me. 

The reason I felt the Lord tugging on my heart to share tonight was because of such a little thing but I want to share it with you. The last 3 days have been extremely hard, it was probably a few of my sickest days. But this is when the Lord did so much in my heart. So, today, I got up, and was not feeling good at all. After the weekend having Todd at home to help get Ford up and going, my day seemed like an enormous mountain I knew I couldn't move. But, I trusted what He had been teaching me, and just started my day. As the day went on I started feeling better and got some things done I had been needing to take care of. And, then, the most amazing thing happened, I MADE DINNER!! Haha Oh my, the most silly little everyday task, but one that I have not been able to complete from start to finish in over 2 months! As I was cooking, I got a little teary eyed, and just said, "Thank you, Lord."

He truly placed on my heart that even the tiniest things can be a victory if done in the name of the Lord. This could be so many different things to so many different people. But today, for me, dinner was my victory, praise God. I know there will be days where I trust in Him, run to Him, spend time with Him, and my day may not get better. But, I LOVE that He can give us hope even in little bits, that remind me that HE is my GOD, there is none but Him. Ecclesiastes ends with amazing truth:

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep HIS Commandments, 

For THIS is man's ALL."

Ecc 12:13

God Bless, T